It was my last ditch effort to save my family, most importantly my son. I had heard of this meditation technique that a couple had been to, to save their marriage. So I enrolled to the 10-day silent meditation course. I got accepted to the Apr 6th, 2016 course in Kaufman, Texas. The course was one of the hardest adventures of my life, yes, harder than when I climbed basecamp of Mt. Everest back in Apr 2013.

The course started with a lesson on observing your breath on day-0, the evening of our arrival. This was followed for the next three and half days, which included 10hrs of the day. On day four we were taught the practice of Vipassna (which in Pali language means, seeing things as they really are). It was very hard to sit for that long. We were served breakfast at 6:30am, and lunch at 11am, and tea with fruit at 5pm. All meals were vegetarian. Our noble silence (not only do we not talk, we don’t make any body gestures with one another either) was broken on day 10, when we were slowly brought back to the normal life of talking and eating. It felt strange to speak after maintaining silence for so long.

Just as I completed the course, my ex (husband then), came to pick me up. On the way we had an argument, and for the first time it was clear to me that I was in the wrong place. Two days later, I drove all the way to Denver, Colorado from Dallas, Texas. Found a two bedroom apartment and filled out rental application. After I got back, I first confided in my daughter, then 16yrs of age, if it was ok for me to move to Denver, and take along her brother, then 20yrs of age, to Denver with me. She really liked the idea, after which I proposed to my son if he would move with me. He got excited that it will turn out to be a great change from the current environment he was in. 

So a little background. My son had just recently tried to take away his life by driving his car at 60miles an hour to a light post. Thankfully, he wore a seatbelt. It was right before his 20th birthday that he had tried. The nurse at the hospital told me that the third try is usually success for anyone trying to take away their life, and this was his second try. The first one occurred when he was barely 16yrs old and his father had told him that he was a disgrace and should end his life. At which he took a handful of ibuprofen pills to end his life, but I took him to ER in time to do an activated charcoal procedure to remove it from his system. These triggered me to go do Vipassna, to save his life. During his out-patient rehab sessions, I learned more about his drug addiction and alcohol abuse. All these were new information to me, and I did not know how I could save him.

Both he and I drove to Denver, he drove my car, while I drove U-haul with two bedroom furniture to start a life, unknown to both mother and son. After reaching Denver, it was time for both father and son to connect, and emotions lead to the father buying his son a ticket to fly to see each other in Dallas. Only a day in, and I got a call from his father to take his son back to Denver. My son had a relapse, and was in the bathroom throwing up all drunk, and drugged. His father had given him a $100 bill that the son used to buy alcohol and there he was. I immediately asked his father to book him a ticket back to Denver. After a few weeks back in Denver again, my son started to work as a pizza delivery boy at Papa Johns. And a few weeks after that, he came to me and said that he wants to join community college. Within a month, he admitted himself to the community college. We took a trip back to Dallas to spend Thanksgiving with my daughter, and my then husband. We went back again for Christmas. Only this time, my son approached me and said that he could take it from here. He had already turned 21yrs by now, and was back in college, so I was a bit relieved, but still had fears of his alcohol abuse. Although fearful, I decided to come back to Dallas and took up a job. Fast forward another year, I had several missed calls from my son. I knew enough from past that calls from him meant trouble. So I called him back, and only this time he said, “Mumma, guess what? I got into the Neuroscience program at CU Boulder”. I had tears rolling from my eyes. Tears of joy. It was the best day of my life. His interest in Neuroscience was to learn all about how he had damaged his brain with both substance and alcohol abuse.

He graduated from CU Boulder in the summer of 2021. The same time my daughter graduated from UT Austin. The joke in the house is, that being the older sibling, he still graduated a couple weeks before my daughter graduated from college. While his degree is in Neuroscience, he now works at an Investment institution on his way to becoming an investment banker. In all this, recently I asked him what helped him get out of the dark space he was in, and his reply was, “I could trust you with anything. I knew you would be there for me no matter what”. Tears rolled from my eyes, as I looked at him in awe and love.

Why Vipassna works? While I have gone through a lot of darkness dealing with struggles at home, with son going through drug and alcohol addiction, Vipassna has been my support system. Time and again I have been able to make best of decisions bringing happiness and joy to self and my loved ones. Vipassna is an experiential technique, it is very scientific, where I am able to get deep into my unconscious and get to know my self. And most importantly, you see the results each day in your life, as you practice this technique.

I had read a lot about how we make a difference in our lives if we know ‘thyself’. This practice is practical enough to make me learn about myself. I practice it twice everyday, and have been doing it since 2016. It is now March 2023, and I just completed my 10th Vipassna course, of which I have served (volunteered) on three occasions which includes serving a 30-day course as well.

Learn more about Vipassna from dhamma.org, or talk to me, and I will share all from my personal experience of practicing the technique and the realized outcomes.